Colton Haynes: 'I Don't Want Worrying If I Look Hot On Instagram To Be My Legacy'

Colton Haynes (images via Instagram)

Sunday evening, Arrow star Colton Haynes took a different tone on his Instagram account as he addressed how projecting “a curated life” has taken a toll on his mental health.

The post, which he labeled ‘Throwback,’ included a collection of selfies from what appear to be past hospital stays. The images are a stark contrast from his Instagram’s usual fare of frolicsome, sunlit beach moments and model-perfect photos.

And that would be the point.

“I don’t want worrying about if I look hot or not on Instagram to be my legacy,’ penned the 31-year-old. “I don’t want to skirt around the truth to please other people or to gain economic success.”

The former Teen Wolf actor shared with his 6.4 million followers that today he feels “immense joy” when someone shares that his “willingness to open up about depression, anxiety, alcoholism, & addiction has helped them in some way.”

In March of this year, Haynes openly addressed his struggles with mental health and addiction with Attitude Magazine saying, “In 10 years, there were maybe 25 days I didn’t drink.”

(image via Instagram)

He added that he had achieved six months of sobriety at the time.

In his recent Instagram post, he admits that while he’s “struggled the past year” with trying to “find his voice,” he regards the journey as “the most beautiful struggle I’ve ever had to go through.”

Pointing to his social media accounts, Haynes says he regrets the time he's spent worrying about "what time to post on social media so I can maximize my likes," calling those concerns " a complete waste of why I was put on this earth."

The point of the hospital photos, which he says were taken a year ago, is to “let y’all in on my truth.”

Reflecting on what he describes as “dark” times, he offers candidly, “I’m a human being with flaws like you.”

He closes the note with a word of encouragement to his fans: “If ur in the middle of the dark times…I promise you it doesn’t have to last forever.”

You can read the full Instagram post from Haynes below.

View this post on Instagram

Throwback. I don’t want worrying about if I look hot or not on Instagram to be my legacy. I don’t want to skirt around the truth to please other people or to gain economic success. I have far more important things to say than what magazine I just shot for or what tv show I’m a part of (Although I’m very thankful I still get to do what I love). I no longer want to project a curated life. I get immense joy when someone comes up to me & says that my willingness to open up about depression, anxiety, alcoholism, & addiction has helped them in some way. I’ve struggled the past year with trying to find my voice and where I fit in & that has been the most beautiful struggle I’ve ever had to go through. Worrying about what time to post on social media so I can maximize my likes or being mad at myself that I don’t look the same way I did when I was addicted to pills is a complete waste of why I was put on this earth. I’m posting these photos to let y’all in on my truth. I’m so grateful to be where I am now ( a year after these photos were taken) but man these times were dark. I’m a human being with flaws just like you. If ur in the middle of the dark times...I promise you it doesn’t have to last forever. Love y’all ❤️

A post shared by Colton Haynes (@coltonlhaynes) on Aug 18, 2019 at 4:04pm PDT

The practice of chasing 'Likes' on Instagram has become an issue of late as Facebook (which owns Instagram) recently announced the platform is currently running a test in seven countries where 'Likes' will no longer be visible to followers.

Instagram says it wants viewers to "focus on the photos and videos you share, not how many likes they get.”

Colton Haynes Shares Dark Details Of His Struggle With Addiction

Colton Haynes covers Attitude Magazine's 25th Anniversary issue

In startlingly candid detail, actor Colton Haynes shares how his struggles with drug and alcohol addiction, paralyzing anxiety, the death of his mother and the end of his marriage led him to some very dark places.

In the cover story for Attitude Magazine’s 25th Anniversary issue, the Teen Wolf/Arrow star opens up about his dangerous downward spiral that led him to recovery.

“In 10 years, there were maybe 25 days I didn’t drink,” he tells Attitude. “I remember when I started, it was a couple glasses of wine, and it regressed into really dark times. I used to blame it on my anxiety or depression issues, but really the root of all my problems was the alcohol and drugs.”

Haynes points to his public coming out in 2016 as the catalyst that pushed his personal issues to the edge.

“I came out and, in a way, my downward spiral started,” he admits. “I felt extremely free but at the same time the amount of attention I was getting was making me spin out of control.”

“I got married and that didn’t work out," Haynes continues. “That was extremely public and heart-breaking, and right when that was going on, my mom died.”

The passing of his mother was apparently the last straw - “My brain broke.”

The American Horror Story alum shares that when he showed up for his first day of work on a ‘massive comedy for a studio,’ he was abruptly fired that day.

“They said I looked as if I had ‘dead in my eyes’, and I did,” Haynes admits. “I got so heavily involved with drugs and alcohol to mask the amount of pain I was feeling that I couldn’t even make some decisions for myself.”

“I was drowning in my own sh*t.”

It was during those dark days that Haynes would experience two seizures, but wouldn’t remember them until he found sobriety.

But that would be a rocky road to travel. The journey to recovery included multiple hospital admissions for alcohol and drug abuse.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Colton Haynes (@coltonlhaynes) on Mar 13, 2018 at 7:24pm PDT

It wasn’t until after a 7-day bender in a Los Angeles hotel room that he was committed via a 5150 psychiatric hold for three days. When he was found in the hotel room, he admits to having major bruises all over his body, loss of partial sight in his left eye, and serious kidney issues.

Haynes saw the incident as a “rude awakening” as he hit rock bottom.

“I was ready to stop running from my own problems,” said Haynes.

He entered a four-month treatment program, and says he has been sober for six months now.

“Once I went to treatment, I found this amazing amount of true love for myself, and started figuring out who I am without those vices, and recognizing the people in my life who lifted me up instead of tearing me down.”

Like many who struggle with addiction, Haynes now realizes he’s “always going to be in recovery.”

The TV super hero is sharing his story now because, “There are so many people struggling out there, but not a lot of them talk about it.”

With sobriety comes clarity, and with clarity comes a new perspective.

“Life is much more beautiful than I could have imagined,” he says. “It’s just a different life now. It’s the best gift I’ve ever been given.”

Check out Haynes’s full cover story/interview in the May 2019 issue of Attitude Magazine.

The hunky actor also shared some of the Leigh Keily photo shoot for Attitude with his 6.6 million Instagram followers.

Click the arrows in the post below.

View this post on Instagram

Extremely humbled to be on the 25th Anniversary cover of @attitudemag . Have to admit I was really nervous to open up about my struggles in the past. I hope those who are also struggling know that they aren’t alone & there’s nothing wrong with seeking help.❤️

A post shared by Colton Haynes (@coltonlhaynes) on Mar 28, 2019 at 10:26am PDT

Trailer: Timothée Chalamet Stars In Moving Oscar Contender 'Beautiful Boy'

Timothée Chalamet stars in the upcoming Oscar contender, 'Beautiful Boy'

Fresh off his spectacular Oscar-nominated turn in the acclaimed gay-centric film, Call Me By Your Name, Timothée Chalamet stars with fellow Academy Award nominees Steve Carell and Amy Ryan in Beautiful Boy, due to hit theaters October 12.

The film is based on a pair of best-selling memoirs by father and son David and Nic Sheff.

The official logline reads, “Based on the best-selling pair of memoirs from father and son & David and Nic Sheff, Beautiful Boy chronicles the heartbreaking and inspiring experience of survival, relapse, and recovery in a family coping with addiction over many years.”

The trailer begins with a fairly extended scene between father and son, an unusual move for an initial promo but puts the talent and chemistry of Chalamet and Carell front and center. Both are here, and both are bringing it.

From the Academy Award winning producers of 12 Years A Slave and Moonlight, the film also features Golden Globe winner Maura Tierney.

Considering the depth of talent involved with the film, Oscar prognosticators already have the movie on their radar.

Watch the moving trailer for Beautiful Boy below.

A Terrifying Secret From The Life Of A Meth Addict

(photo via Mark King)

Award-winning health and HIV/AIDS journalist, Mark King shares a decade old secret from his days of meth addiction.

He is sitting across from me and we are naked. Seconds earlier, we had both injected ourselves with meth. The pounding rush of the drug is in full force and the possibilities feel endless. I’m looking forward to the sexual promises we had made to one another when we chatted online. Desperately. Now.

But even in my delirium, I have the feeling that something is off. I am blinking through watery eyes and have begun to focus on him. He is staring at me, his gaze fixed with an intense and completely unexpected contempt.

And there is a gun in his hand. A gun a gun a gun a gun.

“You’re not who you say you are,” he says, softly and suspiciously. He trembles from the impact of the meth. As he speaks, the gun the gun the gun is moving this way and that, pointed mostly in my direction.

I have no response. I don’t know what he is capable of, or if the gun is loaded, if he will pull the trigger, if this is a sadistic sex game. I met the man maybe an hour ago. I wonder if you can die of fright.

Read the full personal essay over at Queerty.

Mark is a recovering addict and is the author of the blog My Fabulous Disease. I highly recommend checking out more of his inspiring and powerful writing.

AP Reports Prince Died Due To Opioid Overdose

The Associated Press is reporting that music superstar Prince died on April 21st of an opioid overdose.

In the weeks since Prince's death, rumors had begun that the 57 year old musician was battling an addiction to painkillers.

Dan Savage: Josh Duggar's Hypocritical Past Makes Him Legitimate Target For Outing

Josh Duggar

LGBT activist and sex columnist Dan Savage says that newly outed porn addict Josh Duggar is definitely a legitimate target for outing considering the harm he's caused through his anti-gay campaigns.

Outing someone for their private sexual conduct—even if everyone agrees that it's wrong—is a brutal tactic that should be reserved for brutes. Who's a legitimate target for outing? I'll let Barney Frank explain: "There's a right to privacy," Frank said on Real Time. "But the right to privacy should not be a right to hypocrisy. People who want to demonize other people shouldn't then be able to go home and close the door, and do it themselves."

To which I would add: People who accuse others of trying to destroy their marriages, fundamentalists who who quite literally demonize other people, and who then go back to their apartments in Washington, DC, and cheat on their spouses are political hypocrites and legitimate targets for outing. People like this guy...

Savage also joined Chris Hayes last night to discuss the recent Duggar developments.

Liza Minnelli Checks Back Into Rehab

 E! is reporting that Liza Minnelli has entered rehab to deal with substance abuse issues.

"Liza Minnelli has valiantly battled substance abuse over the years and whenever she has needed to seek treatment she has done so," the Oscar-winning star's rep Scott Gorenstein tells E! News. "She is currently making excellent progress at an undisclosed facility."

According to TMZ, who first reported the story, Minnelli's main health issue is connected to alcohol.

Liza has battled addiction for years, most notably checking into the Betty Ford Clinic during the 1980s.

Addressing the issue with The Guardian, Minnelli said "My whole life, this disease has been rampant. I inherited it, and it's been horrendous, but I have always asked for help."

Minnelli's mother, Judy Garland, famously died of an accidental overdose in 1969.

I've met Liza, and she's a doll. And, of course, one of our great treasures of the performing arts.

Thinking best thoughts her way.

Desperate Housewives star Shawn Pyfrom goes public with his own alcoholism and drug addiction

Yesterday, in light of the apparent drug overdose by Philip Seymour Hoffman and his own five months of sobriety, Desperate Housewives star Shawn Pyfrom took to his blog and shared with the world that he is an alcoholic and drug addict.

i just read the news about mr. philip seymour hoffman, and against the advise of others; i had to write this open letter. i can’t stay quiet anymore about this…

i am an alcoholic and a drug addict.

and yesterday i celebrated five months of sobriety. i’m relatively new to being sober, considering the scope of time that i’ve been an addict. but within that scope, this is also the longest i’ve been sober; since i began using. i’m not sure what to approach first, with regard to this letter — my head is still spinning from the news. i even question whether or not i should publish this, as i type out these words. but if these words can encourage someone to hold on to their life… to keep from ever using, or to find the strength to stop; then it’s more important that these words are shared. i’ve considered what’s at stake, for myself, by sharing this - but i find myself without regard for that. i won’t allow my selfish needs to get in the way of potentially reaching another human being’s life.

You can read his entire post here.

Thinking the best for Shawn, and hope that his open letter touches someone who may need their own help with addiction.

Brave move.

TMZ: Bobby Brown arrested for DUI

 

From TMZ: Bobby Brown has just been arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence in Los Angeles

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, Bobby was pulled over in Reseda, CA at 12:20 PM PST for allegedly driving while talking on a cell phone.

Bobby is currently in custody in Van Nuys jail. It's unclear what substance cops believe Brown had been using before he got behind the wheel.

Whitney Houston's ex-husband already has a DUI conviction on his record stemming from an arrest in Georgia in 1996. He eventually pled guilty to DUI and served 8 days in jail.

Brown has been back in the news ever since Whitney died in a Beverly Hills hotel room on February 11. Bobby was turned away from the death scene and left the funeral service early after a disagreement with Houston's family.