Kansas: Straight Couple Joins Same-Sex Marriage Lawsuit Because the Gays Are Stealing Their "Marriage"

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Kansas couple Phillip W. Unruh and Sandra L. Unruh have filed a motion to intervene in the ACLU's marriage equality case in Kansas.

If I understand this correctly, the Unruhs say that should same-sex marriage be legalized in Kansas, they would "experience a taking of their property rights in marriage without due process of law."

Apparently, "marriage" is "property" that belongs to the Unruhs by virtue of the Fifth Amendment.

Seriously, folks, you can't make this up.

I can't do better justice than Joe Jervis at JoeMyGod:

"Apparently, once them gays steal a chunk of their marriage, well, it's all downhill for the Uhruhs from there. Next thing you know they'll be cooking meth with hobos under a Kansas overpass. The rest of their brief is similarly cracktastic, complete with quotes from Genesis and the usual "they can't even make a baby" crapola."

If you really want to entertain yourself, hit this link and read the full brief.

I'm assuming having the nerve to file this must resemble what it's like to be on drugs...