Naked burglars give new meaning to "where's the beef?"

Two naked guys and a friend who's clearly shy (he wore underwear) broke into a hamburger restaurant in Bonita Beach, Florida, and stole hamburgers and bacon.

Why would three naked "knuckleheads" break into a Bonita Beach eatery and only steal food as two security cameras captured their every move? "Dumb, dumber and dumbest," Sansevieri said with a laugh Wednesday.

Three days after the naked caper heard around Southwest Florida, the bare-naked beef bandits remained on the lam. Authorities don't know if the men are tourists or residents, but are trying to uncover and bare all tips.

On Wednesday, authorities released photos — at least those that can be printed — to ask the public for help in identifying the men. The bandits robbed the restaurant at 3:06 a.m. Sunday, stealing 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers and a paddleboard.

 

  (via JMG)

Dumbest tweet of the day: Bryan Fischer

And to up the "dumb quotient," Bryan Fischer links to a video of the former half-term governor of Alaska.

SRSLY?  The President of the United States is "the threat to American security?"

Hannah Montana Coon Repellent

Not sure why this is funny, but it kinda is...

Apparently it's gone viral on the internet. Stay ahead of the curve here on The Randy Report - even if just to know what folks are talking about at the water cooler.

:)

Tom Brady's wife, Gisele Bundchen, gets in hot water over criticizing his teammates

The New England Patriots contend there is no finger-pointing after their Super Bowl loss, even if supermodel Gisele Bundchen won't abide by that code.

The New England Patriots players are "disappointed" Gisele Bundchen decided to air her grievances after the game last night -- when she said, "My husband cannot f***ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times."

According to sources, Tom's teammates feel betrayed by Gisele's behavior -- the Pats organization is a brotherhood and Gisele's pot shot violated the code -- which is basically ... win as a team, lose as a team.

I come from a history of team spirit myself. While Gisele has a right to "free speech' she clearly does not understand team camaraderie and unity.

The phrase "silence is golden" comes to mind here.

Dumb stuff you may have missed in 2011

I'm calling "dumb stuff" - just saying....

Kim Kardashian files for divorce

Kim Kardashian apparently filed for divorce today.

Kim sold the rights to her wedding for $17.9 million. Her marriage lasted 72 days. That comes to a nifty $10,358.80 per hour.

This Kim person releases a porn tape, stars in a reality show, makes money off of a wedding scam and will probably make money from the divorce story too, BUT it's the gays and lesbians that destroy the sanctity of marriage.

There. I think I have it all straight now.

Anti-gay GOP Congressman Resigns in scandal

From The Advocate: "New York GOP Rep. Christopher Lee has resigned in a statement read on the House floor after shirtless photos of him soliciting women on Craigslist surfaced Wednesday."

It has recently come to light that the GOP congressman from NY was reportedly using a Craigslist account to flirt and send sexy pictures of himself to women on the website. While reportedly sending messages to a woman who happened to be a government employee in Maryland, he identified himself as a “very fit fun classy guy,” age 39 (seven years younger than Lee’s actual age), a lobbyist, and divorced. Congressman Lee is actually married with a son.

Before his resignation, Lee, asked by Fox News about the report as he was walking to his car, said he was not willing to talk about the issue, adding "I have to work this out with my wife."

During his time in office, Lee has voted to support the anti-gay 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy and also to reject federal abortion funding.

Here's my thing: don't stand up and say you represent "traditional values" (code-speak for 'I'm better than you') when you're reportedly trolling around on a social hookup site looking to cheat on your wife. Don't vote against the rights of LGBT soldiers and women's rights when you are reportedly lying about being divorced and available to hook up.

I don't say I'm better than anyone. But I've been with Michael for over 17 years. And legally married for almost 8 years. And in that time I don't get on my "better than you" soapbox while trolling around behind his back. The hypocrisy and harm to one's family is plain dumb.

And some folks are concerned that gays and lesbians will sully the name of marriage?

Talk about a hot cup of crazy...