NEW: Canadian PM Justin Trudeau announced that marijuana will be legal nationwide on October 17. “We will soon have a new system in place, one that keeps cannabis out of the hands of our kids, and keeps profits away from organized crime.” https://t.co/PuL9LzkZPe pic.twitter.com/sxpTOPuoX1— ABC News (@ABC) June 20, 2018
"Now, I know you all came here tonight to hear me talk about trade tariffs," Stephen Colbert deadpanned on Monday's Late Show, after recapping the Oscars. "But we're not talking about trade tariffs tonight" he added, "because right before we taped this show, the entire news cycle jumped on the bus to crazy town. At the wheel?" Former Trump campaign aide Sam Nunberg. Special Counsel Robert Mueller subpoenaed Nunberg in the Russia investigation, and Nunberg spent much of Monday on TV insisting he won't cooperate.
"Nunberg took over cable TV like a car chase," Colbert said, playing some choice CNN and MSNBC clips. He found Nunberg's defiance a little puzzling: "You know Mueller can arrest you, right? That's like saying 'Eat me' to Hannibal Lecter." And yet Nunberg talked and talked and talked, dropping tantalizing clues and unsubstantiated bombshells. "This guy is like a Snickers bar — the peanuts just keep coming," Colbert marveled.
“I didn’t really think we cared about the act of it that much, to be honest with you. And that sounds cold in a way, but I finally thought…well, let’s have a party then for the celebration of, and we’ll go ahead and legalize this thing. And I really thought it would kind of end at that, a party feel but it was so much more meaningful in the moment to me than I predicted. And it’s been resonantly more meaningful to me afterward than I ever saw coming. I’d been an adult gay person for so long at a time when that wasn’t possible that life was ‘fine,’ you know what I mean?”I can honestly say I had very similar feelings about getting married before hot hubby Michael and I tied the knot.
"I do occasionally use adult language. And I do it in public, instead of the privacy of an Access Hollywood bus..."
"You know who has really bad ratings these days? You do. Terrible approval numbers. I hear they're talking about switching your time slot with Mike Pence."
"Since all of my success is because of you, there's an obvious way to take me down. Resign."
#FireColbert is trending because comedians scare the hell out of this corrupt, evil presidency. They speak truth. 😂 pic.twitter.com/wEBhkbpvRf
— Anthony Breznican (@Breznican) May 3, 2017
During his monologue on Monday’s live edition of The Late Show, Colbert called out Trump’s sniffles, joking that Trump “sounded like he was fighting off a cold with cocaine.”
After playing a montage of Trump sniffling, Colbert added, “He sounded like the coked-up best man in the bathroom at a wedding. ‘You guys, I got it, I know how we can fix the entire economy. Let’s buy a boat.’”
“All I know is this,” Trump claimed. “I went to a top police officer in Chicago, who is not the police chief, and I could see by the way he was dealing with his people, he was a rough, tough guy, they respected him greatly.”
“We here at the Late Show, we’ve done a little digging, and that cop is here tonight,” Colbert began before introducing “Officer Rod Johnson.”
Colbert asked ‘Officer Johnson” what specifically he told Trump.
“I told him there are some naughty people out there who need to be in cuffs,’ Johnson replied, before identifying himself as a “rough tough cop.”
And now @StephenAtHome with an important question for Donald Trump. #ColbertDNChttps://t.co/DdG7aYYQO0— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) July 27, 2016
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| Stephen Colbert at the "center of power" at the Republican National Convention |
The footage shows Colbert in his "Caesar Flickerman" regalia declaring from the stage that Trump “has formed an alliance with Indiana Gov. Mike Pence” before seemingly falling asleep at the mention of Pence’s name.
“Sorry, I blacked out there for a moment,” he says upon recovering, before proclaiming that “it is my honor to hereby launch and begin the 2016 Republican National Hungry For Power Games!”
At that point a security guard is seen hassling Colbert, who quickly protests, “I know I’m not supposed to be up here — honest, neither is Donald Trump.”
