SNL Spoofs Trump's "Emergency" Announcement, Trump Calls For 'Retribution'

SNL was not about to pass up the chance to address Donald Trump's "national emergency" announcement this week.

Alec Baldwin's "Trump" begins with a little boasting by sharing his recent physical results: “I’m still standing six foot seven 185 pounds shredded.”

Then, he moves on to announce the "national emergency" speaking in an oddly broken pattern: “We need wall because wall works. Wall make safe. You don’t have to be smart to understand that. In fact, it’s even easier if you’re not.”

Trump takes a question from a reporter from Playboy (“Sweet, sweet, sweet many nights in the grotto right?”), but threatens the journalist before he can even ask a question:

“Sit down or I’m switching back to Hustler.”

Changing the subject, Trump introduces his newly-sworn Attorney General William Barr saying, "Congratulations, this guy is going to do such a great job! But still, he's working for me, so I give him three months tops, ok? Dead man walking!"

The Trumpster didn't care for the skit so much, tweeting his outrage saying SNL is "the real Collusion" and called for "retribution" against the show.

Nothing funny about tired Saturday Night Live on Fake News NBC! Question is, how do the Networks get away with these total Republican hit jobs without retribution? Likewise for many other shows? Very unfair and should be looked into. This is the real Collusion!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 17, 2019

Trump asks a good question: How do television networks get away with criticizing the president without “retribution”?

The answer is the 1st Amendment. It’s part of the Constitution. https://t.co/PjONzNIsTz

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) February 17, 2019

Dear @realDonaldTrump: One thing that makes America great is that the people can laugh at you without retribution. The First Amendment allows Saturday Night Live to make fun of you again, and again, and again. @nbcsnl

You should read the Constitution, or get briefed on it. https://t.co/4QxoMrLcmI

— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) February 17, 2019

SNL Cold Open Offers "A Wonderful Life" Where Trump Was Never President

SNL’s holiday show cold open threw a new spin on the Christmas classic, It’s A Wonderful Life, where Donald Trump wishes for a world where he was not elected president.

The skit features celebrity cameos by Ben Stiller (Michael Cohen), Robert De Niro (Robert Mueller), and host Matt Damon (Brett Kavanaugh).

Entering a holiday party, Trump looks around the room noting the mood of the party goers: “Everyone looks so different. What are those things on their faces?”

Kenan Thompson’s 'Clarence the Guardian Angel' replies, “Those are called smiles.”

When Trump asks if 'they ever found' Hillary Clinton’s emails, Clarence shares, “They did - they were all Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons.”

In this new world, Mike Pence is a gay DJ (“It’s so great to be myself”).

And Melania Trump, no longer married to the Donald, doesn’t have an accent anymore. “After our divorce, I lost it. They said being around you was hurting my language skills.”

The sketch appears to have triggered the Trumpster:

A REAL scandal is the one sided coverage, hour by hour, of networks like NBC & Democrat spin machines like Saturday Night Live. It is all nothing less than unfair news coverage and Dem commercials. Should be tested in courts, can’t be legal? Only defame & belittle! Collusion?

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 16, 2018

SNL Cold Open: Alec Baldwin's 'Donald Trump' Worries About Mueller Probe

'Donald Trump' and company sing "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" on SNL

Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) gets an update about the Robert Mueller probe from Rudy Giuliani (Kate McKinnon) and Michael Cohen (Ben Stiller) after being comforted by First Lady Melania Trump (Cecily Strong).

Baldwin’s Trump: “I’m sad you’re going to prison, Michael. You were like a son to me.”

Stiller’s Cohen: “Then why’d you make me do so much illegal stuff?”

“Because you were like a son to me,” says Baldwin’s Trump.

Plus, he confronts Vladimir Putin (Beck Bennett) about his handshake with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia (Fred Armisen) at the G20 Summit in Argentina.

“Don't cry for me Argentina, the truth is I'm very guilty. Some little no-nos and maybe treason. But I kept my promise. Oops, no, I didn't," sings the Trumpeter at the end of the skit.

SNL Cold Open: Kanye West Visits The Oval Office

Last night's cold open on SNL took on the wild and wacky rollercoaster that was Kanye West visiting the Oval Office this week.

“So in conclusion, 13th Amendment, Chi-Raq, trap doors lead to the Unabomber, male energy, Trump is my dad, Hillary’s a woman and the media needs to start making this President look good,” concludes Chris Redd's 'Kanye.'

“I love you Kanye,” Alec Baldwin’s Trump chimed in. “We have a lot more in common than people know. We’re both geniuses, we’re both married to beautiful women and we both definitely have been recorded saying the ‘n-word.'”

Kinda hard to put the skit into words as it pretty much captures the off event.

Over 3 million views in 12 hours. Watch below.

News Round-Up: June 12, 2018

Brandon Haagenson and David Merten in Afterglow (photo: Mati Gelman)

Some news items you might have missed:

• Congrats to long-running play Afterglow (above) celebrating it's one year anniversary running off-Broadway tonight.

The one act play follows Josh and Alex, a married couple in an open relationship, who invite Darius to share their bed one night. What follows is an exploration of individual definitions of love, loyalty, and trust as futures are questioned, relationships are shaken, and commitments are challenged.

• And speaking of New York City, an Uber driver kicked a lesbian couple out of his car for sharing a quick peck/smooch.

• Alec Baldwin gleefully told Howard Stern he'd win if he ran for the White House, but he's busy hosting the reboot of the TV gameshow "Match Game." You know he's just f*cking with the Trumpster...

• Maine has become the third state to approve a third gender for state-issued drivers licenses and IDs.

• A drug used to treat alcoholism appears to improve viral suppression in folks with HIV.

• This tweet of a grandmother ironing her granddaughter's Pride flag has gone super-viral:

I got up this morning to get ready for #DCPride. My grandma walked into my room, looked at my bi flag, and said, “Oh, this needs to be pressed out!” Such a simple gesture, but it holds so much love and meaning for me. pic.twitter.com/stiD3vg5vs

— Lexie 💖💜💙 (@lexie_galaxie) June 9, 2018

SNL's Trump: "I. Do. Not. Care. About. Any. Of. You."

For last night's cold open on Saturday Night Live, President Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) holds a press conference with the leaders of the Baltic states (Kate McKinnon, Alex Moffat, Heidi Gardner).

Brash and unfiltered, "Trump" reveled in his newly invigorated freedom to speak his mind.

Along the way, he ignores memos from staff to not congratulate Vladimir Putin for his "very transparent" reelection in Russia, and even ignores the voices in his head to not mock McKinnon's hair.

When asked by the press if his tariffs could ruin the U.S. economy and immigration policy tarnishing our standing in the world, Baldwin's response is refreshingly candid:

"I. Do. Not. Care. About. America. This whole presidency is a four-year cash grab. And that will probably get me four more years."

Funny in its outrageousness, and probably a lot closer to the truth than most would like to admit.

Watch below.

SNL's Trump On Hope Hicks' Departure: "I Hate Seeing Her Go, But I Love Watching Her Walk Away"

After weeks of hiatus, Alec Baldwin’s "Donald Trump" handled SNL's cold open last night like a boss by convening a bipartisan meeting on gun control which included Beck Bennett’s "Mike Pence" and Cecily Strong’s "Dianne Feinstein."

But the segment was non-stop Baldwin as he skewered the current commander in chief.

Baldwin's "Trump" began by addressing gun control: “It’s clear something has to change. We have to take a hard look at mental health, which I have so much of. I have one of the healthiest mental. My mentals are so high, but we have to respect the law. Believe me, no one love the Second Amendment and due process more than me, but maybe we just take everyone’s guns.”

On the announced departure of close adviser Hope Hicks: “She’s like a daughter to me. So smart, so hot. You know, I hate seeing her go but I love watching her walk away. Boom bada boom...”

On Trump's unique governing style: “I said I was going to run this country like a business. That business is a Waffle House at 2AM. Crazies everywhere, staff walking out in the middle of their shift, managers taking money out of the cash register to pay off the Russian mob.”

And to wrap things up, Kate McKinnon’s Jeff Sessions stands up on his own "hind legs" to let the Trumpster know he's not going anywhere: "I'm like skunk stink on a bird dog. I linger."

Strong material. Watch below.

Baldwin was perhaps keeping a promise he made this week as he traded barbs with Trump via Twitter.

Although Trump attacked Baldwin and his "dying mediocre career," it was Baldwin who delivered the coup de grâce: "Agony though it may be, I’d like to hang in there for the impeachment hearings, the resignation speech, the farewell helicopter ride to Mara-A-Lago. You know. The Good Stuff. That we’ve all been waiting for."

Alec Baldwin, whose dying mediocre career was saved by his terrible impersonation of me on SNL, now says playing me was agony. Alec, it was agony for those who were forced to watch. Bring back Darrell Hammond, funnier and a far greater talent!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 2, 2018

Agony though it may be, I’d like to hang in there for the impeachment hearings, the resignation speech, the farewell helicopter ride to Mara-A-Lago. You know. The Good Stuff. That we’ve all been waiting for.

— ABFoundation (@ABFalecbaldwin) March 2, 2018

SNL Cold Open: "Donald Trump's Rally"

SNL's cold open last night featured Alec Baldwin's "Donald Trump" checking in with Vice President Mike Pence (Beck Bennett) as he took shots at Senator Bob Corker and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.

"We're getting rid of everything Obama did. Healthcare, the Iran deal. We're ripping out all of the vegetables in Michelle Obama's garden and planting McNuggets."

Trump: "Sen. Bob Corker is so small.
Crowd: "How small is he?"
Trump: "Bob Corker is so small a dermatologist found him on a mole."

On Tillerson calling Trump a moron: "I took an IQ test and let me assure you it came back positive. It's through the roof, and many of the clouds as well."

Bennett's "Pence" also accidentally attends a same-sex wedding. You can guess the results...

Watch below.

Alec Baldwin Reprises "Trump" Parody For SNL Summer Special

Alec Baldwin reprised his "Donald Trump" parody for the "Weekend Update" special from Saturday Night Live last night sharing his version of this week's Trump rally in Phoenix.

Just a bit of what Baldwin's "Trumpster" had to offer:

On holding a campaign rally 3 years early: "Folks, it's never too early to campaign for 2020. Mike Pence is already doing it."

On the media's reporting of Charlottesville debacle: "As we all know, there was a tragic victim that came out of Charlottesville: me. Folks, the media has treated me so unfairly by reporting my entire remarks — even the bad ones."

Steve Bannon's "Death" made an appearance as "Trump" thanked him for his service:

T: "One person who's done so much for us is Steve Bannon, and I wanted to give him a proper goodbye."

B: "You've only made me more powerful. I'm going to crush you."

Funny stuff. Watch below.

SNL Cold Open: Trump & Company Sing "Hallelujah"

Seated at a piano, a lone Alec Baldwin as "Donald Trump" begins singing Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah."

He's quickly joined by the SNL cast members who have brought the Trump administration to life over the past several months: Kellyanne Conway (Kate McKinnon), Mike Pence (Beck Bennett), Eric Trump (Alex Moffat), Donald Trump Jr. (Mikey Day), Sarah Huckabee Sanders (Aidy Bryant), Melania Trump (Cecily Strong) and Ivanka Trump (Scarlett Johansson).

Watch Baldwin's "Trump" on the line, "I didn't come to fool ya."

The effect is quite different from last November when Kate McKinnon used the same song to staggering effect as "Hillary Clinton" after the election.

SNL Round-Up: Louis C.K. Kills, Pepsi Commercial Director Gets It Too Late, And Double The Trump

My favorite moment from last night's SNL - host Louis C.K.'s monologue ("“I’ve been doing this for 32 years now, and it’s been going great for four years") called out chickens for being racist, wonders if giraffes are amazed by their long necks, and ponders white privilege.

Louis C.K. also starred in this music video - "Thank You, Scott" - which pays "homage" to all those folks on their phones and laptops who might never actually get out and march for anything, but are saving the world one tweet at a time.

SNL showed why you need your friends as sounding boards, just in case you get that big, big chance to conceive and direct a Pepsi commercial starring Kendall Jenner.

And we got two Alec Baldwin "Trump" appearances.

First, Deadline recaps an Alec double-header as Baldwin plays not only Trump but Bill O'Reilly:

Playing both roles in a split-screen O’Reilly Factor interview parody, Baldwin had smarm, arrogance and pomposity oozing from both sides. A week after reports presented Fox’s Papa Bear as a serial sexual harasser willing to spend millions to settle with his accusers, SNL and Baldwin gave no quarter.

“A scandal no one thought I’d have the guts to address,” Baldwin’s O’Reilly said, then launched into some trumped up Obama scandal. And when a female Fox reporter didn’t show up as scheduled (“Did she get the check?” O’Reilly says to a producer sotto voce), another female correspondent steps in – from a pre-arranged 500 foot distance.

SNL even got in shots about the Factor‘s advertising exodus, as O’Reilly’s patrons were limited to barrel-bottom spots for dog cocaine, horse Cialis – and the movie Chips.

The sketch kicked into gear, though, with Bill and Don’s back-patting adventure.

Bill: “You even went as far as saying Bill O’Reilly did nothing wrong, and that based on…?

Don: “Hunch, just a loose hunch.”

The second Trump clip shows the Donald in coal country, feeling good about his big week:

“Thank you. thank you. We all love trump, don’t we? We do. I had an amazing week, folks. I met with leaders from China, Egypt and Jordan. Gorsuch was confirmed and the media is saying nice things and no one is talking about Russia. What a difference 59 tomahawk missiles can make.

Alec Baldwin Considering Standing In For Trump At White House Correspondents Dinner

Alec Baldwin

On last night's Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Alec Baldwin explained how "his" Donald Trump impersonation came to him moments before he stepped out to his first dress rehearsal as the Trumpster on Saturday Night Live.

He also did not - fingers crossed! - rule out showing up at this year's White House Correspondents Dinner as the president.

Watch below:

Alec Baldwin To Host SNL For Record 17th Time

Alec Baldwin heads back to hosting duties at Saturday Night Live for the 17th time - more than any other guest host.

And in this promo, Baldwin promises this week's show will be "a big deal."

What can we expect? Perhaps more Melissa McCarthy as White House press secretary Sean Spicer? Or - even better - the rumored Rosie O'Donnell characterization of Trump strategist Steve Bannon?

Whatever SNL serves up, one thing is for sure: I know a certain orange-skinned politician who'll be watching...

.@NBCNews is bad but Saturday Night Live is the worst of NBC. Not funny, cast is terrible, always a complete hit job. Really bad television!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 15, 2017

Watch the promo below, and don't miss SNL this weekend with Baldwin and musical guest Ed Sheeran:

"Donald Trump" Makes A Big Splash On SNL

Alec Baldwin recently tweeted (how very Trump-like) following Donald Trump's first press conference in six months that he "has all the material he needs."

And it appears he was correct.

Last night's cold open for Saturday Night Live presented the SNL version of the presser, and I'm not sure which was more outrageous.

Just a few choice lines from Baldwin's "Donald Trump:"

“I’d like to start by answering the question that’s on everyone’s mind. Yes, this is real life. This is really happening. On January 20, I, Donald J Trump, will become the 45th president of the United States. And then two months later, Mike Pence will become the 46th.”

“I am not talking about the pee pee. Because it didn’t happen. And it wasn’t as cool as it sounds. Next question….I do not want talk about the pee pee. I want to talk about what is really important which is jobs because I’m going to bring back a thick stream of jobs back in this country. The biggest strongest steadiest stream you’ve ever seen. This country will literally be showered with jobs. Because I’m a major wiz at jobs. And this’ll be a golden opportunity for me as president to make a big splash. I know you’re in. How bout you? Urine? Urine? Urine? Urine?”

Watch the full sketch below:

SNL: "Hillary Clinton" Appeals To Electoral College In "Love Actually" Parody

Last night's SNL featured a parody of the iconic scene from holiday film classic Love Actually in which Andrew Lincoln silently admits his love for Keira Knightley via a set of written poster cards.

In SNL's version, Hillary Clinton (Kate McKinnon) appears on the doorstep of a member of the Electoral College (Cecily Strong) with her own set of poster cards. Some very funny poster cards.

This was "actually" laugh out loud funny to me. You've got to watch.

Equally funny was the cold open, featuring Alec Baldwin's "Donald Trump" and Kate McKinnon as "Kellyanne Conway," which hit on some of the Trumpster's sore spots.

From the New York Times:

In its final episode of 2016, “S.N.L.,” the sketch series and enduring thorn in Mr. Trump’s side, began with a cold open on Saturday that went hard at some sensitive spots for the president-elect: his relationship to President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, his courtship of Melania Trump, and some of his recent gaffes and cabinet nominations. The show all but dared Mr. Trump to respond on his Twitter account, but he did not immediately do so.

A bare-chested Mr. Putin (played by the “S.N.L.” cast member Beck Bennett) soon came down the chimney with a Santa sack. He profusely flattered Mr. Trump as “the best candidate” and “the smartest candidate” — and “the Manchurian candidate,” implying Mr. Trump was an unwitting Russian puppet. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds tremendous,” Mr. Trump said.

SNL Cold Open: Alec Baldwin's "Trump" Scraps Pesky Campaign Promises

Alec Baldwin made his return as Saturday Night Live‘s "Donald Trump," with the President-elect more confused than ever, and concerned that he may not know how to go about "presidenting."

The skit includes Mike Pence’s now-infamous visit to Broadway:

Trump: “I heard you went to see Hamilton. How was that?”

Pence: "It was good. I got a free lecture."

Trump: "I heard they booed you."

Pence: "Absolutely."

Trump: "I love you, Mike. You're the reason I'm never going to get impeached."

The meat of the sketch, though, addressed Trump’s impending realization of his woeful lack of unpreparedness for the presidency.

Alec Baldwin Schools Donald Trump On How To Be President And It's Awesome

I'm guessing Donald Trump's orange skin is still a bit too thin for Alec Baldwin's hysterical SNL parody of him.

After the Trumpster took to Twitter (for a change) to complain, Alec responded with some advice.

Sounds like Alec would make a great president...

...@realDonaldTrump
You know what I would do if I were Prez? I'd be focused on how to improve the lives of AS MANY AMERICANS AS POSSIBLE.

— ABFoundation (@ABFalecbaldwin) November 20, 2016

...@realDonaldTrump
I'd be focused on improving our reputation abroad, including actually fighting for freedom and not just oil.

— ABFoundation (@ABFalecbaldwin) November 20, 2016

...@realDonaldTrump
I would make every effort 2 retrain Americans so 2 cre8 jobs.
1 way u make America gr8 again is 2 put it back 2 work.

— ABFoundation (@ABFalecbaldwin) November 20, 2016

...@realDonaldTrump
I would make appointments that encouraged people, not generate fear and doubt.
.

— ABFoundation (@ABFalecbaldwin) November 20, 2016

@realDonaldTrump
I could go on. You want more advice, call me.
I'll be at SNL.

— ABFoundation (@ABFalecbaldwin) November 20, 2016

Donald Trump Slaps At SNL - Calls Satirical Skit "Hit Job"

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump took to Twitter to call Saturday Night Live's satirical reenactment of the 2nd presidential debate a "hit job," and part of an elaborate attempt by the media to "rig" the election.

Trump told his followers that the late night sketch show was "unfunny" and that it's time to retire the series. He gave Alec Baldwin's portrayal of him a big thumbs down saying Baldwin "stinks."

This is probably where I should point out that Trump happily appeared on the show last November.

The skit gave nods to all the memorable moments of the past week's race for the White House including Trump's recently discovered video tape from 2005 which caught him telling host Billy Bush he liked to kiss women when he felt like it and "grab 'em by the pussy," and his lurking behind Hillary Clinton during the debate in a shark-like manner.

Clinton wasn't left unscathed though. From the get go, the folks at SNL made fun of her seemingly over-rehearsed comments and responses.

The Trumpster told the Twitterverse he was not amused:

Watched Saturday Night Live hit job on me.Time to retire the boring and unfunny show. Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks. Media rigging election!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 16, 2016

Kate McKinnon won an Emmy Award skewering Hillary Clinton. And when McKinnon won, Hillary publicly congratulated her. Trump needs to learn a few lessons about not being so thin-skinned.

I have to say, every president and presidential candidate since the 1980s has been lampooned by SNL. If you can't handle satire, how are you going to handle being leader of the free world?

SNL Opens New Season With Alec Baldwin's Perfect "Donald Trump"

The 42nd season premiere of Saturday Night Live did not disappoint as newly-annointed Emmy Award winner Kate McKinnon came on strong with her incarnation of "Hillary Clinton," and Alec Baldwin delivered a drop-dead "Donald Trump," in SNL satirical version of this week's first presidential debate.

Mic has the recap:

"We should be talking about the important issues like Rosie O'Donnell and how she's a fat loser," Baldwin-as-Trump says after Clinton cedes her response time to him in the hopes of such a remark.

Jabbing at Trump's complaint that he experienced microphone problems during Monday's debate, Baldwin's character immediately turns the blame on Clinton.

"She broke it with Obama; she and Obama stole my microphone and took it to Kenya and they broke it," he says.

The sketch also features a sparring match almost identical to the one that played out on the debate stage on Monday, with McKinnon mimicking Clinton's speculation about why Trump has refused to release his tax returns while Trump interrupts her sporadically.

"He hasn't released his tax returns which means he's either not that rich," ("wrong") "not that charitable" ("wrong") "or he's never paid taxes in his life" ("warmer").

When Michael Che as Lester Holt asks "Clinton" why she is crying towards the end of the sketch, McKinnon's perfectly timed answer pretty much sums it up:

"This is going so well," she says, referring to Trump's unprompted reference to Rosie O'Donnell. "It's going exactly how I'd always dreamed."

Joan Rivers defends Alec Baldwin in a way only she can get away with

TMZ caught up to Joan Rivers outside Cantors Deli,  and when asked how she felt about Alec Baldwin's recent rage-rant, Miss Joan had this to say:

Joan: What do I think about Alec [Baldwin]? Everybody just relax. Everybody’s either a w*p, a n###a, a k!ke, a ch%nk, a f@iry, a m$ck — everybody’s something so why don’t we all just. Calm. Down.

TMZ: And we should be thankful for you.

Joan : Be thankful that we’re all living in America and stop everybody getting so damn uptight! And this goes for the Indians — both dot and feather!

She then politely wishes Mr. TMZ Happy Chanukah and gets in her limo.

Annnnnnd, scene.

Watch the video below from TMZ:

Joan Rivers Defends Alec Baldwin ... Relax, Everyone's a Fairy, a N***er, a K*ke
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