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| Aaron Gouveia and son, Sam (image via Twitter) |
This is my son, Sam. He’s 5. And today he learned how shitty and harmful #ToxicMasculinity is. My rage meter is spiking right now so excuse me if this is a little raw but there are some things I want to say about BS #gender norms (a thread) pic.twitter.com/NtoE2VHKsU— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Aaron Gouveia is the proud dad of three sons.
His middle boy, Sam, who Aaron calls a ‘boy’s boy,’ likes all kinds of things. For instance, he’s big on fishing, dirt, trucks and knee drops on the couch.
Sam is my middle child & he’s a terror. A “boy’s boy” as so many (not me) would say. He’s rough and tumble, he’s loud, he’s always dirty, loves trucks, plays sports and knee drops me from the couch. But he also loves a lot of “girl” things.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Sam also likes some 'girl things,' like collecting purses because “he likes to carry things around," and wearing polish on his nails because they “look beautiful.”
I think Sam has great taste in colors, too.
Sam has a collection of purses because he likes to carry things around. And he also loves to have his nails painted bright colors because he thinks they “look beautiful.” And he’s right – they are beautiful… pic.twitter.com/tdMdpJZH5w— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Sam recently wore his red nail polish to kindergarten.
His dad says Sam has “absolutely no concept of nail polish only being for girls or reason to think anyone would possibly have a problem with beautiful nails.”
I'm with you there, Aaron. Sam is rocking that red!
So he proudly wore his red nail polish to kindergarten this morning because Sam has absolutely no concept of nail polish only being for girls or reason to think anyone would possibly have a problem with beautiful nails. pic.twitter.com/WsHHupgw9H— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
But Sam’s classmates apparently have no sense of individuality or self-expression.
According to Aaron, Sam was “ridiculed for being a boy with nail polish.”
The kids called Sam names all day long and told him he should take it off.
But his classmates did have a problem. A big one. Sam was ridiculed for being a boy with nail polish. They called him names and told him to take it off. This lasted the entire day.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Sam was extremely upset and crying when his mom picked him up from school.
Sam couldn’t understand why the kids made fun of him and was “devastated at how the other kids turned on him.”
When my wife picked him up from school he collapsed into her arms and cried uncontrollably. He was devastated at how other kids turned on him, even his friends. He asked them to stop but that just made it worse. Only 1 kid stood up for him.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
When Aaron got a call at work from Sam, who was still crying, dad told him that “his nails are BADASS!” and the only thing Sam should care about is whether HE likes his nails.
I'm liking Aaron more and more here, folks.
He called me at work, his words barely decipherable through the sobs, and I told him nothing those kids say matters. That his nails are BADASS! And the only thing that matters is whether he likes his nails. And then my heart broke…— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
But Aaron’s heart broke when Sam asked if his mom would remove the nail polish so the kids at school wouldn’t make fun on him anymore.
“Daddy, I want mommy to take off the nail polish so they don’t make fun of me.”— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Noting Sam’s “huge heart,” Aaron shared his pride that his son has never been afraid to be different because “different has never meant ‘bad.’”
My son is far from perfect but he’s got a huge heart and empathy for miles. He finds beauty in everything around him and for 5 years he’s never been afraid to be different because different has never meant “bad.” Until now.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Aaron also pointed out that “this toxic masculinity bullshit is LEARNED,” and learned from parents.
I know these kids are only in kindergarten but this toxic masculinity bullshit is LEARNED. Learned most of the time from parents. So parents, I hope you’re proud. I hope this is what you wanted. I hope you’re satisfied.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
I hope you sleep well tonight knowing order has been at least partially restored and gender norms solidified for one more little boy whose terrible infraction was having the audacity to like brightly painted fingernails.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Aaron shared that he and his wife have spent years “preaching tolerance, acceptance, and the importance of expression,” but in just a single day Sam’s classmates were able to teach Sam ‘shame.’
My wife and I spent five years successfully preaching tolerance, acceptance, and the importance of expression and your kids unraveled that in one school day. He now feels the shame you desperately want to associate with being different.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Dad had a long talk with his son, and the upshot was Sam should not only keep wearing his nail polish, but it should be “an even brighter shade tomorrow.”
He also told Sam he should ask the kids why the nail polish got them so wound up.
Alright! Go Aaron, go!
But I want you to know I talked to Sam and I told him those other kids are just jealous of his nails. I told him to wear an even brighter shade tomorrow. And I told him to ask these kids why they’re so upset and see what they say.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Aaron went on to tell the Twitterverse that his son “is a goddamn fireworks show of a human being” and he had no intention of Sam’s light being diminished by “restrictive bullshit” like this.
Aaron for 'Dad of the Year!'
I bet they don’t know. I bet their parents don’t even know. But what I do know is Sam is a goddamn fireworks show of a human being and I won’t let that be dulled for a second by this restrictive bullshit that’s been choking boys forever.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Dad also rightfully pointed out to Sam that lots of guys like “Thor & Capt. Jack Sparrow” wear nail polish.
He even threw New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski in the mix, although he wasn’t too sure of Gronk.
I told Sam he could take off the nail polish if he wanted but lots of guys wear it like Thor (@chrishemsworth) & Capt. Jack Sparrow. He asked if his fav football player @robgronkowski did. I’m not sure but I told him yes. Sorry, Gronk.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
More importantly, though, Aaron told Sam that what other people think doesn’t matter because “what you wear and how you look should make YOU look good.”
Yaassssss!
But more importantly I told him it doesn’t matter what anyone else does because what you wear and how you look should make YOU look good. And to hell with everyone else.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Not only did Sam decide to leave his nail polish on, his 10-year-old brother painted HIS nails in solidarity.
After careful consideration, he’s leaving it on. Because he likes it and it makes him feel good. Then Sam’s 10-year-old brother painted HIS nails in solidarity with his sibling, at which point I nearly cried.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
You know what happened next - Aaron decided to pain HIS nails as well.
Even though the shade, chosen by Sam, is a bit “understated,” dad liked it.
But Sam is sticking with his bright red because “it’s pretty and good luck for the Patriots.”
That moved me to paint MY nails. Sam picked out this color called “Main Squeeze” & I think it’s understated but lovely. Sam is sticking with red because “it’s pretty and good luck for the @patriots.” #ItsOnlyWeirdIfItDoesntWork pic.twitter.com/KtuwldiEJw— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Aaron wrapped up his Twitter thread saying that even though “intolerant parents and their offspring scored a minor victory,” they would not “win the war.”
Intolerant parents and their offspring scored a minor victory today but they won’t win the war. I know that because the Sams of the world aren’t going to suffer this bullshit anymore. Of that I have no doubt.— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
Dad signed off with a shout-out to his man, Sam, letting him know he always has his back.
Be brave and shine bright, my beautiful polished boy. Know that mom and dad always have your back and if the rest of the world has a problem with your nails, they can check out my nail polish! pic.twitter.com/fvjD2IZnNQ— Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
This reminds me of the popular internet meme - “This is Aaron and Sam. They don’t care about other people’s rigid, intolerant views. Be like Aaron and Sam.”
Now, if Rob Gronkowski would just chime in with a pic of his nails painted red, that might just break the internet.
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