I will admit up front that I'm originally from Fort Worth, Texas, where it would seem Bryan Wilson - the Texas Law Hawk - has his law firm and runs his outrageous TV ads.
His commercials are somewhere between "Reno 911" and every Steven Segal movie ever made. They're so awesomely bad, we thought they were too good to be true - but Wilson is, in fact, a real lawyer.
"Loud and proud" of his Texas roots, Wilson's extensive use of American flags and screeching hawks could make Stephen Colbert cry tears of joy.
Wilson does wheelies on a minibike, snatches a fish out of a stream, kicks down a door and even jumps out of a moving SUV in an amazing new series of ads.
Wilson was recently featured on Fox News, of course.
What you about to see is real. Uploaded to YouTube only five days ago, the clip has over a million views already.