Brilliant parody of the Gilbert & Sullivan "I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General."
Just the beginning of the most excellent lyrics.
I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist
I’m not merely judgmental, I’m the absolute judgmentalest!
I always follow scripture and I act on God’s authority,
Though marital fidelity was never my priority.
I married first one husband, then two others, then another one
Because I think one man is pretty much like any other one.
I’ve never been too troubled by the dubious legalities
Of sex outside of marriage or of other trivialities.
But when it comes to icky stuff like homosexuality,
I’m always very strident with my Puritan morality.
In short in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist,
I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist.