Judge Ruled Teen Accused Of Rape Deserved Leniency Because Good Grades & Family

(stock photo via Depositphotos)

Easily one of the most disturbing things I've read in a long time.

From the New York Times:

The 16-year-old girl was visibly intoxicated, her speech slurred, when a drunk 16-year-old boy sexually assaulted her in a dark basement during an alcohol-fueled pajama party in New Jersey, prosecutors said.

The boy filmed himself penetrating her from behind, her torso exposed, her head hanging down, prosecutors said. He later shared the cellphone video among friends, investigators said, and sent a text that said, “When your first time having sex was rape.”

But a family court judge said it wasn’t rape. Instead, he wondered aloud if it was sexual assault, defining rape as something reserved for an attack at gunpoint by strangers.

He also said the young man came from a good family, attended an excellent school, had terrific grades and was an Eagle scout. Prosecutors, the judge said, should have explained to the girl and her family that pressing charges would destroy the boy’s life.

So he denied prosecutors’ motion to try the 16-year-old as an adult. “He is clearly a candidate for not just college but probably for a good college,” Judge James Troiano of Superior Court said last year in a two-hour decision while sitting in Monmouth County.

In New Jersey, juveniles as young as 15-years-old can be tried as adults in serious crimes. Troiano has been accused of showing bias towards teenagers from privileged homes.

The good news is an appeals court has issued a sharp rebuke of Judge Troiano's decision and clears a path for moving the case from family court to a grand jury where the teen will be tried as an adult.

According to prosecutors, during the alleged assault a group of boys slapped the girl's buttocks so hard she still had a mark on her hip the next day. And after the assault, the girl was found vomiting on the floor of the basement.

The Monmouth County prosecutor’s office argued that the case belongs in adult criminal court in part because the boy’s actions were “sophisticated and predatory.”

The prosecutors described the act of recording the cellphone video while committing the assault was "a deliberate act of debasement," adding that it was "calculated and cruel."

In his decision last summer, Troiano said the boy’s actions were not "sophisticated," and called the boy's text messages as “just a 16-year-old kid saying stupid crap to his friends.”

The appellate court disagreed and warned Troiano that he appeared to have "decided the case for himself."

This Video About 'Pretty Privilege' Got A Lot Of Folks Worked Up

Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey

Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey shares his thoughts on the effect of “pretty privilege” in life, and specifically in the LGBTQ community.

Dempsey begins by defining exactly what “privilege” is.

In other words, what he calls ‘unearned advantages’ some folks are born with like being white, straight, male, cisgender, and yes, attractive.

When it comes to the ‘attractive’ component, Dempsey lists traits like being tall, having good hair, symmetrical features that he calls “hitting the genetic lottery.”

In the United States, its certainly true that all those characteristics can make life a bit easier to maneuver through.

Study after study has shown that being attractive may make it easier to find a mate, are perceived to be more intelligent and likable, and are viewed as healthier.

Speaking candidly, Dempsey admits to his audience that he knows he’s enjoyed “pretty privilege” in his life saying, “I didn’t have to work to be 6’3” and I didn’t have to work to have my face look the way it did.”

“This is just something that I was born into,” he adds.

And what does this get folks? According to Dempsey this ‘privilege’ translates into getting party invites, dates, job offers and more thanks to the way he looks.

Admittedly, its somewhat uncomfortable to watch and listen to someone describe their “born under a lucky star” status.

Even Dempsey admits, the discussion can come off a bit douchey:

“So you might be watching this after a couple minutes and thinking, ‘Why am I watching this douchebag talk about how attractive he is and how easy his life has been?’ Totally get it.

“Listen, my intention here is not to brag, I promise, because I recognize that I’m putting an easy target on my back for people to just drag me for days and tell me that I am no Pietro Boselli. I know that I am no Pietro Boselli!

“I don’t consider myself the pinnacle of physical beauty, but I do recognize that I have had an advantage in life just because of how I look. And so that’s what I want to talk about and acknowledge ‘pretty privilege’ is a real thing.”

Where Dempsey is going with all this is to say that when those with ‘unearned advantages’ admit those privileges, it helps honor and validate the disadvantage of others.

For instance, when hunky guys complain about not having 6% body fat to their friends who may truly struggle with their weight not only doesn’t ‘honor’ their friends but it is insensitive to others.

Take a few minutes and watch the video below.

The comments on the YouTube page ranged from disgust to agreement.

“6:31 minutes of this video basically : "I am hot and I acknowledge I am hot.’”

"I can relate to you Matt. But people let's be clear there is a dangerous side to "pretty privilege". The most morally, spiritually, and mentally bankrupt people are the "Hot Gays".

"Thanks for acknowledging this struggle. Gay Asian male here who has probably internalized all the bad stuff going around about being gay and Asian while living in a mostly white, western NA city.”

"Disappointed in you Matt . I’ve been following you from the very beginning. But lately your vlogs have been very stereotypical on our lgbt community. Hunny this vlog was very narcissistic. I mean let’s be real. You live in Hollywood where you live and thrive on you looks . Smh. Conceited is boring . There are wayyyy more important things going on this world."

“’… just because of how I look.’ I don't think I have heard anyone say it more louder and honestly. Thanks Matthew.”

To be fair - watch the full six minutes to get Dempsey’s take on the subject and let me know what you think.

I've previously written about Dempsey here where he addresses facing 'body image' issues.

Is this a real conversation to be having? Or is it narcissistic to admit “pretty privilege?”

Meme Of The Day

Caitlyn Jenner: I'm White, Rich And Privileged, And I'm Not Going To Apologize For It

Caitlyn Jenner

“Some of the criticism that my community has had is that I’m white, I’ve got money, I’m privileged and all that kind of stuff. I get that. OK? Can’t do much about being white. Kind of born that way. Privileged? Yeah. I’ve worked hard all my life. I’ve tried to be as smart as I can and yeah, I’ve been successful from that standpoint. And I’m not going to apologise for that. Not even close.”

- Caitlyn Jenner speaking to The Guardian

Ever Wonder What It's Like To Win An Oscar?

Clip description:

Have you ever imagined what it'd be like to be an Oscar winner? Me too.

Welcome to the fake Oscar prank. In it, I pretend to be a celebrity and walk around with a fake Oscar to see how people treat me.

Pretending to be famous has its perks because it turns out people treat you like a real Oscar winner. You may have seen fake celebrity pranks and pretending to be famous before, but I think being a fake Oscar winner is the craziest prank of these yet!

I don't condone lying. At all.

But it is fascinating to view the culture in Hollywood that would bend over backwards for someone perceived to be an Oscar winner.