Sunday evening, Arrow star Colton Haynes took a different tone on his Instagram account as he addressed how projecting “a curated life” has taken a toll on his mental health.
The post, which he labeled ‘Throwback,’ included a collection of selfies from what appear to be past hospital stays. The images are a stark contrast from his Instagram’s usual fare of frolicsome, sunlit beach moments and model-perfect photos.
And that would be the point.
“I don’t want worrying about if I look hot or not on Instagram to be my legacy,’ penned the 31-year-old. “I don’t want to skirt around the truth to please other people or to gain economic success.”
The former Teen Wolf actor shared with his 6.4 million followers that today he feels “immense joy” when someone shares that his “willingness to open up about depression, anxiety, alcoholism, & addiction has helped them in some way.”
He added that he had achieved six months of sobriety at the time.
In his recent Instagram post, he admits that while he’s “struggled the past year” with trying to “find his voice,” he regards the journey as “the most beautiful struggle I’ve ever had to go through.”
Pointing to his social media accounts, Haynes says he regrets the time he's spent worrying about "what time to post on social media so I can maximize my likes," calling those concerns " a complete waste of why I was put on this earth."
The point of the hospital photos, which he says were taken a year ago, is to “let y’all in on my truth.”
Reflecting on what he describes as “dark” times, he offers candidly, “I’m a human being with flaws like you.”
He closes the note with a word of encouragement to his fans: “If ur in the middle of the dark times…I promise you it doesn’t have to last forever.”
You can read the full Instagram post from Haynes below.
The practice of chasing 'Likes' on Instagram has become an issue of late as Facebook (which owns Instagram) recently announced the platform is currently running a test in seven countries where 'Likes' will no longer be visible to followers.
Instagram says it wants viewers to "focus on the photos and videos you share, not how many likes they get.”
For many LGBTQ people, Pride Month is not only a celebration of who we are, but how we got here.
Teen Wolf/Arrow star Colton Haynes covers the latest issue of The Advocate and shares a candid look-back on his road to ‘here,’ and how being gay factored in to the highs and lows of stardom.
At the age of 14, Haynes experience two life-changing events: coming out to his family and he was discovered by a modeling agency talent scout.
By the time he was 20, he’d appeared in ad campaigns for Abercrombie & Fitch, JC Penney and Ralph Lauren. He’d also begun making appearances in films (Transformers), TV series (CSI: Miami, The Hills, Pushing Daisies) and music videos (Chemical Romance’s “I Don’t Love You”).
Along the way there were some disappointments like two TV series (Showtime’s Look, ABC’s The Gates) that were both quickly cancelled.
But then came MTV’s Teen Wolf which cast the hunky actor as high school lacrosse player “Jackson Whittemore.” Life soon went into hyperdrive as the series had nearly 2.5 million viewers tuning in each week.
Haynes tells The Advocate the series “just exploded because we went from shooting the pilot to presenting at the MTV Movie Awards, which was insane.”
But amid the heady success, there was the inevitable dark side.
Haynes was still closeted, and he recalls being explicitly told to stay in the closet or it would “jeopardize the show.”
He also found out that, during casting, some teenage pics of him kissing a guy had begun circulating around the internet and one MTV executive was against hiring Haynes.
But the show’s creator, Jeff Davis, became Haynes’ champion telling the network, “If you’re not going to hire this person because they’re gay, then we’re going to remove this character completely.”
Obviously, Haynes got the job but felt he was trapped in the closet.
“Despite the fact that I was gay, I hid my sexuality throughout being on Teen Wolf,” says Haynes. “Everyone knew, obviously, when we were filming but I definitely butched it up and kind of hid it while I was filming.”
Looking back at those early 20-something, closeted years today from the perspective of an out 30-year old (he publicly came out three years ago), Haynes still feels like the ‘Hollywood system’ didn’t give him a choice if he wanted to be successful.
“In order to be seen as being able to play a leading man or being able to play the roles I’ve played thus far, I really did need to create this persona,” he told The Advocate. “Unfortunately, Hollywood can be very limiting with their choices.”
He added that, while things aregetting better, since coming out the only auditions he’s being called for are gay roles.
In the middle of Haynes' professional successes, though, there were personal, private challenges like living with drug/alcohol abuse and anxiety issues, and the passing of his mother in 2018.
Even while visiting his mother in the hospital (who was there due to a failing liver from her own drinking issues, he told Attitude he drank tequila from a water bottle.
Just months later he found himself in a media storm as he filed for divorce after being married less than a year to florist Jeff Leatham.
He’s since shared publicly that there had been episodes where he would check into hotels and go on weeklong benders of drugs and alcohol.
In March, Haynes told Attitude that when one ‘hotel stay’ left him bruised, partially blind in his left eye and nearly ruptured his kidney, the actor checked into rehab. It was then he took a cold, sober look at himself.
Today, he says he has “no one to blame but myself” in terms of how the press and social media spun his life out to the masses.
Taking full responsibility for the wild ride, Haynes admits, “I was posting every second of my life online. Every positive, every negative.”
“Eventually I became click bait, eventually everything that we all joke about — how I could literally say something online and the trolls will pick it up and spin it into something, that ‘I’m spiraling out of control,” he added. “I did make myself [look] that way, not knowing I was doing that.”
Haynes hopes that, even with possible ‘over-sharing’ on social media, his struggles might help other people.
"I’m still hearing from certain people that have gone through what I’ve gone through,” he explains. “Even though a lot of it isn’t as in-depth as the way that I’ve shared, it helps me to be able to share a lot more because I’m like, ‘Oh, I’m not alone. I’m not crazy. My struggles aren’t just my own. A lot of people go through this.’”
And even though his super-hero days appear to be coming to an end as Arrow producers have announced its upcoming 8th season will be the last, Haynes still believes we all can be heroes - folks who are “true and authentic” and “really stand up for something they believe in.”
There’s a positive message for Pride, and definitely a hopeful perspective as Haynes looks to his next chapter.
“It’s totally in all of us, and it’s really special. Everyone just needs to tap into it.”
In startlingly candid detail, actor Colton Haynes shares how his struggles with drug and alcohol addiction, paralyzing anxiety, the death of his mother and the end of his marriage led him to some very dark places.
In the cover story for Attitude Magazine’s 25th Anniversary issue, the Teen Wolf/Arrow star opens up about his dangerous downward spiral that led him to recovery.
“In 10 years, there were maybe 25 days I didn’t drink,” he tells Attitude. “I remember when I started, it was a couple glasses of wine, and it regressed into really dark times. I used to blame it on my anxiety or depression issues, but really the root of all my problems was the alcohol and drugs.”
Haynes points to his public coming out in 2016 as the catalyst that pushed his personal issues to the edge.
“I came out and, in a way, my downward spiral started,” he admits. “I felt extremely free but at the same time the amount of attention I was getting was making me spin out of control.”
“I got married and that didn’t work out," Haynes continues. “That was extremely public and heart-breaking, and right when that was going on, my mom died.”
The passing of his mother was apparently the last straw - “My brain broke.”
The American Horror Story alum shares that when he showed up for his first day of work on a ‘massive comedy for a studio,’ he was abruptly fired that day.
“They said I looked as if I had ‘dead in my eyes’, and I did,” Haynes admits. “I got so heavily involved with drugs and alcohol to mask the amount of pain I was feeling that I couldn’t even make some decisions for myself.”
“I was drowning in my own sh*t.”
It was during those dark days that Haynes would experience two seizures, but wouldn’t remember them until he found sobriety.
But that would be a rocky road to travel. The journey to recovery included multiple hospital admissions for alcohol and drug abuse.
It wasn’t until after a 7-day bender in a Los Angeles hotel room that he was committed via a 5150 psychiatric hold for three days. When he was found in the hotel room, he admits to having major bruises all over his body, loss of partial sight in his left eye, and serious kidney issues.
Haynes saw the incident as a “rude awakening” as he hit rock bottom.
“I was ready to stop running from my own problems,” said Haynes.
He entered a four-month treatment program, and says he has been sober for six months now.
“Once I went to treatment, I found this amazing amount of true love for myself, and started figuring out who I am without those vices, and recognizing the people in my life who lifted me up instead of tearing me down.”
Like many who struggle with addiction, Haynes now realizes he’s “always going to be in recovery.”
The TV super hero is sharing his story now because, “There are so many people struggling out there, but not a lot of them talk about it.”
With sobriety comes clarity, and with clarity comes a new perspective.
“Life is much more beautiful than I could have imagined,” he says. “It’s just a different life now. It’s the best gift I’ve ever been given.”
Check out Haynes’s full cover story/interview in the May 2019 issue of Attitude Magazine.
The hunky actor also shared some of the Leigh Keily photo shoot for Attitude with his 6.6 million Instagram followers.
• As the close races are finding a victor days later, I break down the midterm elections on how LGBTQ candidates did, as well as how the “Blue Wave” will affect our community.
• The US State Department denounces the hideous human rights violations against LGBTQ people in Tanzania.
• Hollywood legend Rock Hudson is getting a big screen biopic treatment by out super-producer Greg Berlanti (Love, Simon).
• And Colton Haynes surprised fans with a cover of “A Million Dreams” from The Greatest Showman.
All that and more in this episode of The Randy Report.
If you enjoy catching up on LGBTQ news in a quick podcast, I’d appreciate it if you would share The Randy Report with your friends.
I like to think of this podcast as the 60 Minutes of gay news — only shorter :)
Arrow star Colton Haynes surprised fans today with a soaring cover of “A Million Dreams’ from The Greatest Showman with singer Matt Bloyd.
Calling the film “the greatest movie I’ve seen in a while,” Colton shares that he was “super excited” to sing with his buddy, Bloyd, a alum of FOX’s singing reality show, The Four.
Bloyd writes, “My good buddy Colton Haynes and I knew we had to put our spin one of our favorite songs from one of our favorite movies! I am so so proud of this project. Love the song. Love the words. Love Colton! We hope you enjoy our take on ‘A Million Dreams’ from Pasek and Paul’s ‘The Greatest Showman!'”
Bloyd’s effortless tenor pairs well with Haynes’ easy baritone. The duo finds an easy groove on the tune originally sung in the film by Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams.
Matt Bloyd
This isn’t Hayne’s first trip to the recording studio.
An accomplished singer, he’s dabbled in music before with covers of Dan + Shay’s “19 You + Me” with New Heights, and Josh Groban’s “You Raise Me Up,” as well as an original holiday track, “Baby It’s Christmas.”
And, of course, there’s his now-famous “Man, It Sucks” he mysteriously posted on his Instagram soon after the split with his husband of six months, Jeff Leatham.
Arrow star Colton Haynes and his husband (?) Jeff Leatham confused Instagrammers today congratulating each other on their one-year wedding anniversary.
We say "confused" because after only six months of married life, Haynes filed for divorce this past May 8.
At the time of the separation, Haynes posted a video of a song he recorded about relationship infidelity called, “Man It Sucks.”
But in August, the two were spotted together at LAX leading some to think a reconciliation was in the works.
Today, Haynes posted pics from their 2017 wedding with the caption, “Can’t believe it’s already been 1 yr. since we got married @jeffleatham :) Happy Anniversary my beautiful husband ❤️❤️❤️”
At about the same time, Leatham posted his own anniversary message which read, “I can’t remember what it was like before you, and I don’t even know how we got here but maybe that’s exactly what I needed. Someone who could make me forget where I came from and someone who could make me love without knowing how to fall.
R.M. Drake - Happy Anniversary My Beautiful Husband - ❤️🖤❤️🖤- Life is a beautiful place with you beside me. - I LOVE YOU”
Check out the official trailer for Bigger, the new biopic that chronicles the lives of Joe and Ben Weider, who rose from poverty to become the indisputable leaders in the bodybuilding industry for over 50 years.
Former Teen Wolf co-stars Tyler Hoechlin (as Joe Weider) and Colton Haynes (as TV fitness guru Jack LaLanne) head up the cast.
Weider and his brother Ben (played by Aneurin Barnard) are widely credited with creating the modern bodybuilding/fitness movement.
From their fitness publishing empire that included Muscle & Fitness, Muscle Power and Shape magazines to Weider Nutrition founded in 1936, to founding the International Federation of Bodybuilders in 1946, the Weiders were THE leading force in fitness in decades.
In 1967, the IFBB launched its first competition, the world-renowned Mr. Olympia.
Weider also discovered and mentored the young Arnold Schwarzenegger for years in the early 1970s.
It wasn't all muscle-bound glory, though. In the 1970s and 1980s, the brothers found themselves the target of several investigations regarding claims of false advertising about their products.
Haynes’ character, Jack LaLanne, became famous as America’s first TV fitness star in the 1950s, long before Richard Simmons and Jane Fonda thought about ‘feeling the burn.’
Writer/director Joe Gallo (Bad Boys, Midnight Run) described the film to Deadline as “beyond inspirational, and will resonate with not only the massive crowd of those who have found the balance of body and mind as essential for a healthy life but also the throngs of people that were inspired by Joe and his Mr. Olympia events.”
The flick also stars Julianne Hough as “Betty Weider,” Instagram celeb/bodybuilder Calum Von Moger as “Arnold Schwarzenegger,” and Billy Reilich (Ellen’s TV ‘gardener’) as English bodybuilder “Reg Park.”
